I will try and be as honest and impartial as I can for this writing. First things first, when you are born, 99.99% of us have these tiny cute noses, you can hardly see them they are so small. They are good for jokes, and pulling out buggers, cause as little kids we have lots of buggers. Now look at your baby photo with mom or dad holding you. See how big their nose is? It is as if they are aliens, not even from the same planet. Notice how we look more like the pictures of aliens in sci-fi films? They barely have a nose at all. I have contemplated this a lot. My momster calls herself an alien. Don’t expect me to argue that point (see: http://remmymeggs.com/momsters-and-reality/ )

But as infants we have these cute tiny noses, kissable noses. Now pay attention to films about love, in almost all of them the teens and young adults have a very hard time kissing because their nose gets in the way… hmmm I would think that is most exasperating. Bumping noses, black eyes, giant noses in the way of everything. Yet the story is just about to begin. Go back to the photo of you and your parents. How often do you see them kiss? Not often I bet, and if they do they have to learn yoga to get around those noses to make contact!

I always thought that when they did kiss they were checking each others breath, maybe they are… who nose for sure what they are doing? By the time you are an adolescent, your nose has grown a little bit, but still cute and lovable. Look at your adolescent photos of you and your parent/s notice anything? Look how big their noses have become since you were an infant. Horrifyingly big, and they just kept growing and growing, until death when you have to get a casket and you ask the mortician why the casket is so tall. He will be polite, but actually it is to make sure the nose fits in.

Now why as humans do we have such slow growth rate for the rest of our bodies but this great growth of a nose? Carlo Collodi was headed in the right direction way back in 1881, so I am not the first person to come up with this idea, he just had it backwards. I guess if you believe in God, you will now understand that he measures your lies in your life by the size of your nose. If you do not believe in a god, then you have to believe that the nose tells those of us still living about the person we are talking to.

Does that make everyone with a big nose a liar? Well I am sorry to be the one to tell you this, but it does. Everyone lies to some extent. Some of you will say: But our noses grow so we can get more oxygen to our lungs than when we were infants. Oh pray tell that is just another old wives tale to explain it to kids. Give me a break!

giant-noses

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4 Thoughts on “Why adults have such giant noses

  1. I’m sorry, but something smells about your theory. 😉

  2. Remmy2013 on June 18, 2015 at 9:01 pm said:

    Oh says the guy with the big nose giggles

  3. Well I am not sure you ‘nose’ what you are talking about, but it makes sense in a weird sort of way I guess 😉

  4. Remmy2013 on June 19, 2015 at 11:58 am said:

    Of course I nose what I am talking about, I am trying to earn my degree in noses!

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