Category Archives: Bad Movies

StevenF Review of Deadly Scholars

The film Deadly Scholars (AKA #Squadgoals) was released on January 16, 2018. It is about a high school reporter who investigates a couple of murders at her school. At the time that it was released it was Unrated.

It was very difficult to find anything positive about this film. I suppose the best I can say is that the acting was decent even though the script was dull and predictable. This was listed as a thriller, but it came across more as a chiller. The actors were, apparently, more used to working on TV channels like Nickelodeon or Disney. The murders were hardly scary or gory. And the other major sin of this film (I can’t even bring myself to call it a movie) was that the “teen” actors were in their mid-20s or older.

I consider it my duty to warn people about wasting their time when it comes to entertainment. This film was a major disappointment and should be avoided at all costs unless you need a sleep remedy. Another clue to watch for is when the producers can’t decide on a title to stick with. I give it 1 star out of 5.

Remmy’s Review of Corbin Nash

Corbin Nash, April 2018, If you love vampire movies you are sure to like this. The premise is that the original vampires were angels sent from heaven to inherit the earth. At that point they are demons. According to the movie that is exactly what happened. Not sure where the teeth came from.

There is no gore, but there is plenty of blood. Corbin Nash (played by Englishman Dean Jagger) our protagonist is a cop whose parents were murdered at a baseball game. Overall the movie is action packed if you can get over the vampires, and senselessness of it all. I didn’t even know the English played baseball.

The vampires really like street fighting, to tenderize the meat I presume. None of that is shown, so you cannibals are out of luck.

Corey Feldman, who I did not recognize at all, plays Queenie… a part I sure would not have played but I guess money is money to some people. I do have to give kudo’s here, he did it well.

There are a couple of other big name stars in it, you will have to figure which is tho (without looking it up on IMDB!)

Do my best to get over the stupidity of the infamous vampire genre I found it hard to give this movie 3 stars, but i did, just because you guys will rip my throat out and leave me to die if I don’t. 3 out of 5 stars. I will not watch this again nor will I buy the movie. But the title and graphics were cool!

StevenF Review of All Light Will End

This TV-MA movie was released in November, 2018. Savannah is an author who is occasionally plagued by night terrors. When she returns to her family’s cabin with her boyfriend and another couple in order to attend her brother’s graduation, her past seems to haunt her more than before.

All Light Will End is a psychological thriller with a few bloody, but not gory, scenes. That is about the only positive thing I can say that it has going for it. The editing was reminiscent of 1980s slasher movies, the acting and musical score were below average, and the story line could have been stronger. The pacing was too slow to maintain my attention.

I would not bother recommending this film to anyone unless they are fans of B movies. The best that I can give it is 2 stars out of 5.

Remmy’s Review of: Mute

Mute (February 2018) TV-MA, Alexander Skarsgard (Leo), Paul Rudd (Cactus Bill), with a cast like this you would think this would be a stellar movie, not only because it has science fiction sections it it, however this movie falls flat on its face. A German Amish mute takes on the gangsters in Germany but during his quest to find his love, we have to deal with child molesting doctor, mild gangsters and the final ten minutes. I have to say¬† Violence, some blood, and one semi gore scene. I never experienced a two hour show where I wished I didn’t turn it on. Others have given this a good review, but sorry I cannot do that. 2 stars out of 5, and I am sure others will agree with me, this movie missed the mark.

StevenF Review of Bitch

Bitch was released on November 10, 2017 as a made-for-TV movie. It is a dark comedy about a woman whose life comes crumbling down due to her philandering husband and four demanding children. Due to all of the pressures of her family, she has a nervous breakdown and takes on the personality of a vicious dog. The rest of the film shows how this effects her husband and children.

This has a few physical humorous scenes, but for the most part it falls flat. Jason Ritter (son of late actor John Ritter) plays Bill Hart, a man who thinks that the women in his life are there for his own selfish needs. Marianna Palka (she also wrote and produced the film) plays Jill, a woman who is slowly sinking into mental oblivion. Since this is an usual story line, its difficult for me to say how believable the characters are. The child actors were good as well as the actress who played the sister-in-law. I wasn’t too crazy about the sound track which seemed to consists of experimental jazz.

I did watch this movie all the way through although at the point where the husband is left with the kids, I lost interest. The ending was, like the movie, up in the air. I don’t really plan to watch this again. Its like seeing something at a bakery that looks appetizing, but when you try it, you are sorely disappointed. Since there was some foul language, an irritating sound track and a disappointing story line, I can only give this 2 stars out of 5.

StevenF Review of The Lobster

The film The Lobster is a multinational production which was released in the US on May 13, 2016. It is described as a dark dystopian comedy which takes place in a world where being single is a crime. Singles are rounded up and put up in a hotel for 45 days. If they do not find a suitable mate within that time, they are transformed into animals.

The lead characters of the film are David (Colin Farrell) and a woman simply referred to as Nearsighted Woman (Rachel Weisz) who form an attachment and escape to the forest with the other singles. Their acting was passable considering the drabness of their characters.  The choreography was good, directing was bad. The story line, I suppose, would make sense if you were on drugs. I guess there was a touch of surrealism to the scenery, which I normally would like, but it was obscured by the dullness of the sound track.

This film was 2 hours, 3 minutes of sheer boredom. I really wish that I could be more sympathetic to the director/screenwriter, but I can’t. Unless someone had insomnia, I would not recommend this movie to anyone or buy it. If you’re someone who is into Art House type films, you’ll probably enjoy this. I can only give it 2 1/2 stars out of 5. 





StevenF Review of Under the Skin

This film was released on March 14, 2014. It stars Scarlett Johansson as a mysterious woman who seduces lonely men at night in Scotland. After that, I’m lost on what the rest of the movie is about. An alien who discovers herself? A social commentary on women? Who knows?

This film has so little going for it, that I am at a loss for words. This is Ms. Johansson’s worst film ever, the sound track was annoying, and the story line was almost non-existant. The dialogue could have used subtitles because I could barely understand the Scottish brogue. At least I didn’t go into this movie with any expectations because they would have never been met.

My three criteria for any movie I review are 1) Would I buy it?, 2) Would I recommend it? and 3) Would I watch it again? I have to say a big, fat “NO!” to all three. If it were possible to give negative ratings to a movie, this would be the one. I give this 1/2 star out of 5 and that is being generous.


StevenF Review of Sunshine Cleaning

The film Sunshine Cleaning was released on April 17, 2009. Rose (Amy Adams) is a single working mom whose son Oscar (Jason Spevack) is taken out of public school due to some of his antics. Rose’s boyfriend, a local police officer named Mac (Steve Zahn) suggests that she can make good money cleaning up after dead bodies. She convinces her sister Norah (Emily Blunt) to help her and her father (Alan Arkin) to watch after Oscar.

For some reason, this was considered a comedy. If there were any comedic elements in this story they were either dark or nonexistent. I was hoping that Oscar would have had more scenes, but the film mostly focused on Rose and Norah’s lives. The acting was good enough, but the writing was so-so. The directing was good as was the production. I hate to flog a dead horse, but instead of labeling this a comedy, they would have been better off calling it a drama.

I want to give the acting at least 3 1/2 stars because the main actors are well known. Having said this, I have to factor in the story line. I was really hoping for a funny movie but was let down. I would not buy this movie or recommend it to anyone. I give it, overall, 2 stars out of 5.

  

StevenF Review of What Happened to Monday?

The dystopian multi-national produced film, What Happened to Monday? was released in the US on August 18, 2017. It revolves around the concept that Earth’s population is growing dangerously and a solution must be found. A scientist (Glenn Close) comes up with a universal one-child only proposition. Siblings are to be frozen until the Earth can support their numbers. At least that is what everyone thinks.

Noomi Rapace plays all seven sisters who are hidden and educated by their grandfather (Willem Dafoe). Ms. Rapace more than met the challenge of coming up with seven different characters who are pretending to be one woman. I cannot say that the acting was excellent, but the actors were believable. Willem Dafoe, an actor I like, spent maybe fifteen minutes total screen time. I felt that he could have had more screen time. The story line had action and suspense but other than that, it had gaps of logic. The story line was an expansion on China’s One Child Policy and a rather weak expansion at that.

Over all, I must say that I am disappointed in this movie. I don’t know whether it was the influence of the 6 or 7 production companies involved in the making of this film or the writing, but I would not buy this for my collection. If dystopian futures are your thing, then you may enjoy this film. As I stated earlier, the actors are great but the story line was a bit weak. I give this 2 1/2 stars out of 5.

Remmy’s Review of Peter Jackson’s BAD TASTE

Almost everyone knows of Peter Jackson’s Lord of the rings Trilogy. With very good reason. Personally I do not think in our time any director can outdo what he did. Yet that was hardly his first film. At the age of seven he was given an 8 mm camera and the rest is history. Not so fast.

Of course, the little kid made several short films with his friends. Until someone noticed his full feature film Bad Taste, which won several awards of its own in 1987, and that is where he became famous.

Bad Taste is a horror comedy, and I sat thru the whole thing. Granted it was made a year before I was born, and it really sucks… however it is sic!

Although I didn’t laugh, and overall the idea for the movie was dumb in my opinion, it is one of those films I have to love just for the directing. The acting was okay, the makeup is a whole story on its own. The soundtrack wasn’t perfect compared to today’s standards but it was good. Jackson pays tribute to the Beatles and mentions many movies of his time, like Star Trek.
I rate this 2 out of 5, a movie that shouldn’t have been made, yet it was. A good start Peter!