In the ice age boys and girls knew to keep their wieners warm all the time. However in this modern ice age, brought about by global warming that many of you refuse to acknowledge, it seems there is an epidemic of frozen wieners being sent to the emergency rooms all over the world.
This must stop, and it is my duty as a responsible citizen to get the news out. Frozen wieners are not fun, they can crack and break and never work again. Please take this serious. This is why you do not find wieners in the arctic or Antarctic!
Think of it, no more petting them, no more playing with them, no more sharing them with friends, no more hugs and kisses. Yes this is for your benefit. Never take your wiener out in the cold, if there is snow on the ground, remember your wiener may be short but the wind can still freeze it. Pay attention to your surroundings. A cold electric fence will rip your wiener off in the cold, so do not let your wiener pee on one! BE CAREFUL!
Let’s face it wieners can be small, cute, warm, cuddly and loving, don’t let anything hurt your wiener, you may only get one in your life, treat it well. At all costs, keep your warm and fuzzy warm and fuzzy!