A few days before autumn, the leaves had already begun to fall here in New Mexico (that is in the United States of America for those that never learned about it in school).  The light summer rains have been replaced by hail and buckets of rain, as well as heavy lightning and thunder. As a matter of fact it is doing that right now outside my door.  It must be more beautiful up north with all the dead tree limbs falling off the trees, hopefully not piercing humans or houses. We pay a lot for our caves! (Notices that several limbs are above my roof that look like a strong gust could blow them on top of me while I sleep)

This is the time of year that feral cats and dogs strain themselves trying to find a burrow or dry place without wind, to hide most of the time, only to come out to hunt. Speaking of hunting, I do not suggest you wear a hat with antlers on it, after all we have hunter’s out there with 30.06 rifles and high power shot guns ready to shoot anything that moves. Certainly there are more safe hunters, but there are those that see you dressed in nice clothes will mistake you for a deer, or bear, or bigfoot, or some other animal that they can put in their roaster. In some cases not even your backyard is safe. Most hunting accidents happen in the fall. (especially if you have a hairy face!)

This is also the time of year when pumpkin spice doubles in price at your local market. Although in my handicap and elderly complex, no one cooks besides Alice and myself, they all run to the store and fill their fridges and freezers up with pumpkin everything (gag how much of that can they eat??) Not to be outdone, fall festivals with antiquated music (mostly hurting my ears) fills the beautiful air, along with the pumpkin spice and leaves. Let’s not forget the pumpkin candles in homes, you walk in and can’t breath, or throw up because enough is enough pumpkin everything. Be sure though to get printed pumpkins to put on your doors and windows so everyone know you have pumpkin every thing in the house (Notice this is the time of year when kids of all ages run away) I think it is the time of year when pervs come out and steal the kids.  This is also the time of year when you can get custom made candles pumpkin smell and all (or other flavors) at these festivals, as well as many other items you do not really need, all at very high  prices.

And don’t forget although fall is really about harvesting, let us not forget harvesting of souls. The witches steal off with

little boys so they can get the fat off their bodies and fly, skinny kids do not have to worry about that too much anyway. (PS It is said that they love CHUCK roast!)   They seem to love to put snotty little girls in pictures for all time, or turn them into mice to be chased by all the male mice! Beware of any guy or girl that looks odd that has a purple glint in their eye, no the eyes do not have to be purple, just a glint, barely noticeable unless they look at you from the right angle. Just keep in mind that many people celebrate halloween a month early, just to gather souls.

Gingerbread, months before Christmas and people start making gingerbread, so by Christmas it will break your teeth off. Don’t forget the nuts, beets, caramel and candy apples, molasses everything (especially if you live in Canada). Do not forget to make fruitcake! Yes I know you have sixty of them in the cupboard, but you never want to run out of gifts for your associates you don’t like, right?

This is autumn, fall, or harvest time. Be sure you are ready for it and although it means good things to many people, remember I want it to be good for you, so please be safe!



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2 Thoughts on “Autumn – Fall A beautiful time of year?

  1. LOL!
    I will be sure to look out for people with a glint in their eyes and hope it’s just because they have a cold 😉

  2. Steven F on September 23, 2017 at 5:38 pm said:

    Very funny, but at the same time, informative. Good precautions to take against hunters and witches.

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